What I've Given Up

Before we began this blog, I used to write for an audience of one – Daddy. He would often read me posts from other D/s blogs, posts that he found especially erotic or applicable to our relationship. I’ll never forget the first day that I surprised him with a blog that I had “found” (actually, I was the author of the post), and after I read it to him, he exclaimed, “Wow…that must have really resonated with you.” I giggled to myself and said that it sure had…and then he realized exactly how much the post resonated with me. I had completely surprised him and he loved it! Even from the very beginning, he was encouraging and appreciative of my writing…so much so in fact that he began giving me ideas that he wanted me to write about.

There are two suggestions of his that I have yet to discuss although many months have passed since he originally mentioned them. They have never left my mind, but rather have floated around, gaining steam and weight until the time came when I would be capable of fully exploring and describing the ideas in all their glorious simplicity. Daddy wanted one post about what I’d given up as his slave and one post about what I’d gained as his slave.

Here is the first of those entries…

It would be simple to say that I’ve given up “everything” and be done with it, but then I wouldn’t be doing our relationship much justice or showing you the respect that you deserve for being my Master. In essence, this is exactly what I’ve given up, but the true beauty of relinquishing everything that I’ve ever had or ever known lies in the minutiae – those all-important little things that seem to blend into the fabric of our day-to-day lives and that are always there just under the surface…

I’ve given up control of my orgasms.
I’ve given up denying access to my body.
I’ve given up my rights.
I’ve given up my safe word.
I’ve given up my hard limits.
I’ve given up pushing back.
I’ve given up my job.
I’ve given up my home.
I’ve given up fears of rejection.
I’ve given up freedom and any possibility for escape.
I’ve given up my birth name to become baby girl, little one, pain slut, whore, etc.
I’ve given up the air that I breathe.
I’ve given up the word “no”.
I’ve given up my very life.
I’ve given up…everything.

This list is almost frightening in its minimalism and its brutal honesty. Daddy has stripped me of everything that I once was, but what he has made of me and what he has given me in return is what is truly remarkable… (to be continued)