22 March 2010

Orgasm Denied

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about the control that Daddy now has over my orgasms and how it wasn't always this way... When we were long distance, Daddy used to let me cum whenever I wanted, knowing that the day would come when I would no longer be allowed to do so. Going through some of my old writings, I found this letter that I wrote to Daddy during one of those rare occasions when he denied me the pleasure that I so desperately craved. I am convinced that these first denials were the initial groundwork toward a complete dependence upon Daddy for my pleasure. I hope you enjoy...

It aches, Daddy…it aches so very much. And the worst part is knowing that this is what I’ve asked for. Although, and please forgive the basic teleology, this is my life from now on. This is a slave’s life. And I am a slave. It’s that simple.

It’s been over two days since I last came. After coming back from the airport today, I wanted nothing more than to get out of my clothes, slip into bed and masturbate…a lot. I wanted a couple – maybe a few – good orgasms…enough to tide me over until I got to talk to you, Daddy. Just as I was about to get naked, I got a text from you…and I will never forget the feeling as I read, “Baby girl isn’t allowed to cum until Daddy makes her.” Pitiful. Dejected. Desperate. As I slumped into my chair and sulked, I realized how much more aroused I was than just a few minutes before. What was different? What had changed? I came to the realization that my arousal stemmed from three main factors.

First, I wanted (and still want!) to cum so badly, but was denied. Not being allowed to fulfill what is, at least for us, a basic need, made the strain of not cumming so much more intense than it had been. Cumming has now become an obsession, both of body and mind. At times, I feel as though it is consuming me, yet resisting and obeying my Master makes me stronger…

Second, we both know that Daddy ultimately controls all my orgasms. We don’t want it and can’t have it any other way. You were, and are, exercising your right to control my body, even from afar. Especially from afar. I was completely caught off-guard by your order, Daddy, but you have found a very effective method with which to teach your baby girl an important lesson about who she is and who she belongs to. Which brings me to the third factor…

I am a slave. This is the life I have chosen. You have given me a number of opportunities for release, all of which I have turned down. I will not get any more opportunities. My life is yours. I repeat – I am your slave. Feeling you exert your power over me as my Master and my owner both frightens me and arouses me. By denying me what I most crave, you remind me of my true nature, the nature that only you fully understand and control.

Unfortunately, after writing to you, I find myself more aroused than before, waiting for a release that only my Daddy can give me…if he so chooses. Thank you, Daddy, thank you so much…

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