12 September 2010

Sex as Communication


Any mature, responsible couple who has weathered a few storms (and perhaps a few failed relationships) knows that sex cannot be the crux of the partnership. As wonderful as sex can be (and boy, can it be wonderful!), there is simply no feasible way to shag 24 hours a day…I should know, I wrote the definitive work on the subject for my honor’s thesis at the John Holmes Academy of Deep Dicking. ;)

Ok, maybe not… But you get my point, right?? When it comes to D/s, we all need to establish a balance that works for our specific partnership – a formula of sorts that helps to ensure enduring happiness. In addition to mind-blowing, toe-curling sex sessions and Domination/submission scenes that would make the cast and crew over at kink.com sweat through their leather, we may also need nurturing, personal and professional fulfillment, alone time, family togetherness, travel and exploration…the list could go on. Yet at the bottom of all this, there needs to exist a solid base of communication and understanding. Yes, I know that I’ve railed against communication in the past, but, in my defense, I was taking issue with the use of “communication” (or the lack thereof) as a hackneyed, pseudo-psychoanalytical catch-all for relationship problems rather than with communication in and of itself. But I digress!

The main goal of this post is to look at sex as a non-verbal communication tool for couples. My inclination is to believe that D/s couples tend to use sex for communication more often and more effectively than vanilla couples. This conclusion is based on the assumption that, generally, D/s relationships evolve under stricter and more explicit sexual parameters. Regardless of when the D/s aspect of the partnership entered the picture – some start a new relationship with the full understanding that they are entering into a D/s partnership and yet others discover their dominant or submissive leanings later in life and attempt to adjust their relationships accordingly – sex and communicating one’s desires are never far from the picture. But, the question remains…can sex itself be used to communicate or is it a closely related by-product of successful verbal communication between partners? Let’s look at a couple examples…

We’ve all heard of (and have probably engaged in!) “make-up” sex. This is a big one in the vanilla world. The argument has died down, you’re willing to concede on a few points, both of you have made some comments that you wish you could take back, a couple sheepish “I’m sorries” are exchanged…and before you know it, you’re ripping each other’s clothes off and going for the ride of your life in the sack. Even rodeos and amusement parks don’t feature this much action! So what just happened there? Communication through sex. As a standard, it can be difficult for us to admit we were wrong and to face up to the awful things we’ve said or done. There are certain ineffable, intangible factors in a relationship that spoken communication cannot bridge. But when both partners hit the threshold of hurt and then push beyond it to find themselves once again, make-up sex can be the most effective way to close the gap between you and to move on together. Yes, there still may be some lingering hurt feelings, but the sex itself as a communication tool lets both partners know that they’re on the path to moving beyond the argument.

For my second example, I’d like to take a look at some sexual communication from a D/s perspective (and primarily from Daddy’s and my perspective, although I’m sure that many of you will have no trouble identifying!). We stir in the morning light. Before a word is spoken, he is on top of me, forcing his way inside of me. It hurts so deeply that the sensations border on acute pleasure. This is where we both need to be…this is where we belong. Sex as The Great Communicator has once again spoken loud and clear – “You are mine to do whatever I wish.” When one hand wraps around my throat and the other covers my nose and mouth, the message is even clearer – “Everything you have and everything you are belongs to me, even the air that you breathe. You will never know a time when you are not owned completely by me.” It’s hard to argue with that sort of communication…and I love “hearing” it.

Although, I fear that the question still remains… Is sex itself (in all of its manifestations) a communicative tool that we can depend upon? Or is it that we are able to share effective non-verbal communication through sex because we have previously verbalized our needs, wants, fears, and desires?

Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for you right now…this was a sort of “food for thought” blog entry! Thanks for making it all the way through this somewhat unwieldy post - I’d love to hear any thoughts that you have!

08 September 2010

The Quickie

“Stroke my cock, baby girl. Stroke Daddy and make him nice and hard…”

We had just hopped into bed, indulging in one last quickie before Daddy had to leave on his two week business trip. Although I’m not sure that “quickie” captures all the wonderful nuances of what we shared that afternoon…what we’ll share for the rest of our lives. We both knew that two weeks apart would be difficult and that we would have a rough go of it, but Daddy helped me to refocus on the here and now…on us.

After he ordered me upstairs, we began to climb the stairs in unison, knowing that we would be heading directly for the bed. We undressed quickly and shimmied under the covers and Daddy ordered me to stroke his cock. Taking his thick shaft in my hand, I immediately felt him become firmer in my grasp. As I used soft touches and a light, but solid grip to caress and stroke my Daddy, he took my left nipple in his mouth and forcefully twisted my right nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Yet another twitch from Daddy’s cock as his baby girl moaned in ecstasy from his ministrations… Good little girls aren’t supposed to like getting touched by their Daddies that way…but after he commanded a couple orgasms from my body, I became aware that I couldn’t remember how I had ever cum before meeting my Daddy.

Continuing to suck on my nipple, his hand slid its way down my body and his fingers found their way to my slick pussy and swollen little clit. One more pussy-clenching orgasm for baby girl and then, in one swift movement, Daddy was on top of me with his cockhead at my opening. He looked deep into my eyes…looked through me…looked at the little girl that existed only for him… And then he was inside her, as deep as he could possibly get… Daddy pounded my pussy until he exploded in a roar of an orgasm.

Truth be told, there wasn’t any particular aspect about our sex session that made it vastly different from one of our “normal” sex sessions…but that’s precisely what made it so incredible. I was reminded that “normal” for us is a perpetually and infinitely fulfilling experience and that my life is intrinsically connected to one amazing man…a man who just happens to be my Daddy.

06 September 2010

It's Been Too Long...

Hello all! It’s nice to be back…and to see that find that our blog has continued to resonate with our amazing community of “pervy” folk (and, as we all know, the pervy folk are the most fun folk!).

In an egregious, unabashed use of the passive voice (so as to shift all blame for my absence toward external factors!), an outstanding two-week vacation, a return to work that had us reeling for a bit, followed by Daddy’s extended two-week business trip, and a visit by a couple of just plain awful out-of-town guests, all conspired to keep me away from the blog for an embarrassingly long period of time! Thank you for your patience and your continued interest!

Now, without further ado, back to the delightfully nasty sexy stuff that you all love and adore… ;)

Daddy’s been gone for about a week and a half now and my pussy is positively aching to feel him again…his warm body, his thick cock, his dominance. I would compare my pussy to a feral beast, salivating at the thought of sinking its teeth into freshly killed prey, but this metaphor seems far too Dom-like (and toothy!) to me and doesn’t capture the nature of my submission. And despite the somewhat obvious physical similarities, even the docile Venus Flytrap, patiently waiting for its feast to arrive, seems aggressive at this point. For now, solid metaphors escape me, so I’ll just leave it at Daddy’s baby girl can’t wait for him to come home and is desperate to feel him inside her again…

This is one of the longest periods that Daddy and I have been without sex since we’ve been married…and, as you might assume, neither of us is enjoying it…at all. There is really only one plus that I can take from this experience. It is the knowledge that when Daddy takes what is rightfully his upon his return it will hurt. This pain is unlike any other and I equate it to the first time that I ever felt him deep inside of me… Delicious. Nostalgic. All-consuming. Pain.

When this excruciatingly lovely pain is combined with Daddy’s words, reiterating his total dominance and ownership of me as he buries himself inside of me, it will take every last bit of will and strength that I have in order to not cum at that moment…

I mean, hell, I’m teetering on the edge as I type!!! Please come home soon, Daddy! :)