Sometimes I forget that Daddy and I are a team… Sometimes I feel that my emotional burdens are mine alone and that no one would care to hear about them… Sometimes I think that I’m all alone… But I’m wrong – totally wrong.
It’s been a busy couple of months. Daddy and I got married and I moved across the country to be with him. I left everyone and everything behind (friends, family, comfort zone, work contacts, job) in order to spend the rest of my life with my Master. I have never and will never regret this decision – period. But, at the same time, it doesn’t mean that I don’t go through my fair share of loneliness and tears…
The past week has been especially difficult. I’m having trouble finding a job and there have been a number of emotional explosions in my former home city that make me wish I were there to lend comfort to my friends. I feel isolated and useless. Cue up the tears…and the petulance.
In my former life, I would simply depend upon myself to “ride out the storm” of my tantrums, knowing that the only audience would be a couple of stuffed animals who could care less if I were weeping for joy or grief. But that is not my life anymore. My life now belongs to Daddy. And although he understands my pain and loneliness to a certain degree (and will readily indulge my tears), he absolutely refuses to give in to my reckless independence. And I am eternally grateful for this.
When I was at my most defiant and crabby, Daddy commanded me to tell him what was wrong and let me cry it all out. At one point, he even fucked me into submission, reminding me of my place and centering me. He reinforced the fact that my pain was not mine to deal with alone anymore. It’s not a matter of whether or not I wish to share my feelings with him. I must tell him everything. He must have access to my inner thoughts. I musn’t deny him anything.
He is my rock. He is my sounding board. He is my everything and I must always remember this. Thank you for your patience, Daddy. Thank you for loving, wanting, and understanding your baby girl…
2 weeks ago