28 April 2010

Poll Results and a Question

A little over a week ago, I posted a poll in which I asked what subs prefer to call their Doms or what Doms preferred their subs to call them. Voters were asked to choose the name that they used the most or most preferred, although it was possible to choose more than one answer. I would like to thank everyone for their participation - the results are now in and a post is due from yours truly!

The responses were as follows (from most to least popular): Master (54%), Sir (40%), Daddy (36%), a term of endearment such as Dear or Sweetie (6%), or another name altogether (4%). Of the 44 people who voted, no one responded under the “Proper Name” category (I expected as much. I mean, even vanilla couples rarely use proper names to address one another, but I thought there might be one or two of us who preferred it).

Now, more importantly, why would I have conducted this poll in the first place? Great question! ;) Well, it’s like this, see… I follow quite a few blogs and enjoy each of them for different reasons. I read about the exploits of role players, M/s couples, D/s couples, polyamorous folks, spankos, newbies, atheists and agnostics, Christians, veteran and/or searching Doms, confident, bitchy, intelligent, feminist, and/or insecure subs, moms, dads, grandpas and grandmas, and an enormous host of other wonderful people engaging in a kinkster lifestyle that the majority of society would simply not understand or would view as a spectacle or perversion. I enjoy reading these blogs because I love the idea of sharing ideas, thoughts, and feelings with an understanding crowd. I’m not a blogger because I like staring at my own navel; I’m a blogger because, at heart, I’m a student of human nature, constantly searching for more information about how we engage with and love one another.

This being said, and part of what I enjoy about the blogosphere, is that there is a strong tendency within our web of communities to respect each others’ kinks, provided that they are consensual, safe, sane, and don’t involve minors (I have yet to discover a single blog that does not have an age disclaimer, advising those under the age of 18 to look elsewhere for their kicks/kinks). Yet in the past couple of months, I have read a number of blog posts and comments on other blogs from people within the community that react negatively to the Daddy/little girl D/s dynamic. This got me to thinking… Are the people who use “Daddy” to refer to their Masters/Owners, etc. really that few in number? Is there something that makes Daddy/little girl inherently wrong beyond the mere taboo? Is the Daddy/little girl dynamic more problematic than, say, the Master/slave dynamic? *

As a little girl and a slave to my Daddy/Master, I obviously have no problem with any of these terms, but there is definitely something about Daddy/little girl that has people in a huff. (By the way, and as a side note, I love Daddy’s very first post in which he describes perfectly the nature of our relationship…I would never be able to say it any better! But I digress…). I’m convinced that people have passed by our blog solely because of the title (although, of course, I respect everyone’s right to choose!). I have engaged in e-mail exchanges with other kinksters who have registered their disapproval with our dynamic. Ok, ok, I understand that the even the implication of pedophilia can be an extremely sensitive subject, but when those involved are clearly and openly over the age of consent (and then some!), where does the problem lie? I would love to know.

So, according to the poll and from my intensive blog reading, I have proof that Daddy and I are not alone! In fact, “Sir” only outscored “Daddy” by two votes in the poll. Yes, I understand that this “proof” is rather skewed (yeah, it’s like giving the scientific method the middle finger!), considering that those who voted are likely followers of our blog and are perhaps engaging in a similar dynamic to ours, but the question still remains… Why, when there are many of us out there, does the Daddy/little girl lifestyle continue to piss people off?

Any comments, suggestions, and ideas would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance! :)

* I’m aware of the ongoing ideological and terminological struggle within the M/s community about the use of the terms “Master” and “slave”. To my knowledge, “Daddy” and “little girl” haven’t received quite as much attention in recent blog history.


  1. Baby Girl: I'm kind of disappointed that anybody would email you with disapproval of your dynamic. I thought this was a more supportive comunity than that and as long as two consenting adults are involved in any kind of dynamic, we kinksters should support them. Just because somebody has a kink that's not my kink doesn't mean I disapprove.

    The idea that using the terms Daddy and Baby Girl signifies underage girls doesn't even merit a comment. Just as the use of Master and slave doesn't signify a real slave. It's all consensual folks. And if it's not, then it's not part of this lifestyle. It's just the kink of the people involved.

    Celebrate it. Don't disapprove.


  2. I have to admit that when I first started researching bdsm and first heard of Daddy/little girl stuff, it completely freaked me out. I assumed that it was basically rape/incest roleplay. I realize now that I was mistaken. But that's honestly just the first thought the came to mind when I heard the terminology. I actively avoided reading anything about it because I figured I would find it too disturbing or upsetting. I think I found your blog by following FD around. And I'm glad I did, because it has helped clear up some of my confusion. I guess I shouldn't really speak for anyone else, but I wonder if others might have the same initial reaction I did. Perhaps that's why it isn't as widely accepted? :/

  3. I voted for Master but have no problem with other names. My Master at times wants me to call him Daddy and I do, along with Sir. So I guess I could have choosen all 3 but Master is how I refer to him in my blog. I have to agree with Florida Dom's comments and if anyone writes negitive about then it doesn't deserve a response back from you.

    His name is your respect to him and his respect to you.


  4. I wanted to add a further comment. As you know from my previous interactions, I was also kind of freaked out by the whole Daddy/baby girl idea, like heather b. I am also somewhat intrigued by it, but afraid of mine own interest because of the whole mislabeling thing. The thought of sex with little girls is disgusting and horrible, yet I do like it when my lizard acts like a little girl. I know, however, that she is indeed a consenting adult, so that makes it acceptable to me, even with the weirdness of it.

  5. First of all - what is it to someone else? If they don't like it - they do have a close button on their internet browser. Move on.

    While your dynamic isn't something that i, personally, would be involved in, it is not my place to say if it's right or wrong.

    What i DO see - are two people who are enjoying the dynamic between them and blissful together.

    That's enough for me - and should be enough for anyone else.

    Thank you for the great read to someone "new" to blog land, i would like to add you to my list of reads.

  6. "Celebrate it. Don't disapprove." - some sound words of advice there, FD! And, on a more positive note, at least the negative comments/e-mail issue is a relatively rare issue. :)

    Dear Heather B,
    You know, years ago, when I started to get into reading erotic stories online, the Daddy/little girl dynamic didn't appeal to me much either (I had almost forgotten that!). But you know what changed things for me? I came to a realization, especially after meeting Daddy, that our dynamic was not based on roleplay (as many are, which is cool too!), but rather on the idea of Daddy as protector, guide, and nurturer (and occasionally disciplinarian!). It just feels right...what else can I say?? :)

    Dear Carrie,
    I, too, use Daddy, Master, and Sir interchangeably with Daddy, but we prefer Daddy (I only voted for one!) ;) And I really like your interpretation of names as mutual respect...I think that we all lose sight of that at times. :)

    Dear Dom Tom,
    I totally understand the initial "freak out" phase, but you're right - once you realize that you are engaging in an informed, consensual relationship with an adult woman, it helps to open you up to your fantasy and your desires. It's definitely not for everybody, and for some it's not for everyday use, but for those who embrace it, it's a very comforting (and erotic!) dynamic! :)

    Dear Cilla Noir,
    Welcome to our blog and thanks for the supportive comments! :) Please, by all means, add us to your list of reads (I just added myself to your list of followers too!). I hope to hear from you again! :)

    Take care all and thanks for your input!
    (A very proud) Baby Girl :)