Simple, Not Easy

I’ve been seeing the word “just” thrown around quite a bit lately. And I am not referring to “just” in the sense of fair, equitable, or upright, but rather as merely or simply.

If I could just figure out how to submit to my Master properly… If I could just stop trying to fight Him… How can I learn to just give up control… A proper submissive just needs to obey and accept the lot that she has willingly taken on… The list could go on and on…

“Just” is such a small, seemingly innocent word, yet it connotes so much, especially for those of us who engage in a D/s or M/s lifestyle. Have you ever sat back to contemplate “just”? It is not a minor filler in a sentence, but rather influences the entire statement that surrounds it. What exactly does “just” mean? Why do we use it so pointlessly and carelessly?

When we use “just” (and I say “we” because I, too, am guilty of its usage), what we imply is that the activity in question is an easy task to accomplish or that the statement on the table is an easy fact to comprehend. As Daddy and I have discussed on many occasions, D/s and M/s relationships are simple, but not easy. For example, we understand, as a couple, what our respective roles are (Daddy is my Master and I am his submissive…simple). We live a life that is governed by power, control, internal struggles, outside pressures and prejudices, and conflicts…not easy.

By using “just” to preface our beliefs and assumptions, we are positing them as givens in our worldview. But if you look at some of the “just” examples that I listed at the beginning, these are hardly givens but rather constant struggles in which we engage in order to be at peace with who we really are. There is nothing truly easy about the lives that we lead, although "just" would have us believe otherwise.

I guess the point I’m trying to get at is that we should aim to be judicious in our usage of the word “just”. After all, what we do is not just a curiosity, not just an urge that we can turn on and off, and it’s definitely not just something that freaks and/or perverts do. “Just” negates the beauty to be found in true submission and domination. It nullifies the strength that each Dom/me and submissive finds in themselves to commit to a higher purpose than mere physical pleasure.

So, the next time you find yourself typing the word “just,” take a moment and consider what you mean to say… I know, it’s a change that is so very simple, but not easy…