On Being a Daddy

Baby girl and I met online when she sent a message to me on an erotic chat site. She liked my screen name and then read my profile. It was necessarily short, but I managed to work the word "Daddy" into it. I don't know if she would have contacted me without that word. I suspect she would have, but we'll never know. In any case, within a week of having met online, she was calling me Daddy in our conversations. It felt natural and right.

In one of our earliest conversations, we talked about the word "Daddy" and what it meant for each of us. Did she fantasize about having sex with her actual father? Did I fantasize about having sex with my actual daughter? No, absolutely not. The thought repulsed each of us. We talked about roleplaying and I said it wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want elaborate sessions in which she pretended to be my daughter. Roleplaying doesn't interest me; I'd rather be with baby girl as herself, not as anyone else. She had a similar viewpoint and I think this was one of the important early moments in the blossoming of our relationship.

You can see the inherent contradiction here. Baby girl isn't my daughter. We refer to one another as if she is, but don't consider ourselves to be playing roles. I can imagine that this wouldn't make much sense to anyone else, but it works for us. I think this is because at some level we really do consider ourselves to be Daddy and baby girl, just as we consider ourselves to be Master and slave.

We've pushed and made this already fuzzy line between reality and fantasy even fuzzier. When I'm fucking her, baby girl will beg me to breed her. She doesn't literally mean this: we don't want kids and I had a vasectomy long ago in any case. Sometimes she'll ask me if I want to make a baby inside her, and I'll say that I do. Is this roleplaying? I suppose that it is, but we don't think of it that way. It feels like a natural extension of our personas in the relationship. If I'm her Master and her Daddy, and she's my slave and baby girl, the decision to impregnate her would be up to me, and it's a very erotic thought.

The word Daddy is a huge part of our relationship. Like most couples, we use each others' first names rarely, and our favored pet names for each other -- in private, anyway -- are Daddy and baby girl. Daddy is how she greets me every time she wakes up, how she answers the phone when she knows it's me calling, and how she signs every e-mail to me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.