Daddy is on the road again this week and thankfully will be back late Wednesday evening. I miss him terribly when he’s away and there is a definite interruption in our normal routine, our Rhythm (as Daddy wrote about a couple days ago). Yet this return home is a bit different and I am slightly nervous to see how it will play out. He is going to be extremely busy with work matters on Thursday, we have an all-day conference and evening obligations on Friday, and then we have relatives visiting us the whole following week (which covers two entire weekends…gasp!).
We haven’t had a visit like this since we’ve been married and, although we’re both looking forward to it, I’m anxious about not being able to find enough alone time for us. First of all, we won’t be able to spend hours in bed, reconnecting and talking as we like to do on a regular basis (especially after he comes back from a business trip). Then there is the additional fact that whether Daddy is using me or making love to me, when he cums the walls shake from the roar. Not really something you want to share with unsuspecting relatives. I can hear the questions now… “Has he been shot? Should we call an ambulance?? Do you need me to tourniquet anything???” Yikes. The point is, when he can’t cum loudly, which we’ve dealt with in limited doses on prior occasions, it feels ok, but it’s not as fulfilling an experience as it could be. Having family in the house sort of precludes any D/s play that we like to engage in, that is unless of course they might wish to join in on the fun (ok, I’m suppressing a scream of absolute horror after that last comment!).
Daddy won’t be able to bend me over any counters and fuck me. He won’t be able to put me on my knees wherever and whenever he wishes. He won’t be able to cane and/or belt me until I break. He won’t be able to tie me to the bed and leave me there, attending to me when he feels like it. *sigh* Without wishing to be too punny, our hands are tied on this one!
In moments such as these, I come to appreciate (even moreso than I already do) the amazing connection that Daddy and I share. When we’re unwilling to share the nature of our relationship with others (which is usually the case) or are simply in a place that would frown upon any outward expression of Daddy’s ownership of me, there are small ways that he expresses his domination. I crave these small demonstrations of affection and control more than I could ever express.
Sometimes, he’ll take hold of my long hair and use this hand-fashioned pony tail to guide me or direct my attention. At other times, he’ll place his hand around the back my neck and squeeze softly, just enough for me to know that he is in control and that I am owned, whether we are in public or not. But most of the time, Daddy will place his hand on my back, using it to reinforce my submission to him. If there were any doubt that he was in charge (which there never is), somehow that hand and his sense of presence at those moments seem to dispel any concerns.
If you were in the room with us while Daddy was performing one of these rituals, you might never even notice it. And, even if you were to notice, to vanilla eyes (i.e. to the eyes of our visiting family) these expressions would seem affectionate but nothing more. Because of our special relationship and the need for a D/s dynamic, these demonstrations take on a whole new meaning, especially when we are unable to engage in the customary activities that we enjoy.
I guess we’re going to have to ample time to discover new, creative, and subtle expressions of our domination and submission over the next couple of weeks…wish us luck!
3 weeks ago