12 May 2010


As Daddy is away this week, I don’t have anything to post about our recent adventures. Generally, when this happens, I tend to look to our past and recall fondly some of our most intimate and sexually-charged moments. With this in mind, one of Neo Dom’s posts got me to thinking about voicing our desires, which, in turn, got me thinking about the very first time that Daddy tied me up and what ensued…

At the time, we weren’t married yet. In fact, we weren’t even living together. He was visiting me for an extra long weekend and, as we still do to this day, we were making the most of our time together. Long walks, touristy fun, lovely meals shared both at home and on the town, and, of course, some amazing sex…ok, ok, LOTS of amazing sex! Again, not much has changed since then! ;)

In our conversations leading up to his visit (and even from one of our first conversations after having met each other), we both knew what was going to take place on his visit. Daddy was going to break me. He was going to tie me to the bed and belt me until I broke down in tears, until I was a quivering wreck of a submissive and a slave, until I was His completely. I had never been broken before, had never endured a prolonged pain session, had never had a belting before, yet I knew that I needed it. I knew that Daddy needed to dominate me in a way that would render me helpless and that would include a great deal of pain. He needed to mark me as his own.

Knowing that my first pain session was imminent was unsettling enough, but oddly, it wasn’t the hardest part for me. The most difficult part of mentally grappling with my fate was knowing that I would be forced to ask Daddy to break me…forced to voice my deepest desire. It was one thing to have Daddy break me and use me as his submissive little one, yet it was altogether another thing to have to ask to be broken. How could I be such a painslut? How could I beg him to hurt me? Why did I need this?

The moment of truth came. I was bound by my wrists, face-down on the bed, and Daddy had his belt in hand. He stood next to me and caressed my face.

“What do you want, little one? What do you need, little one? Tell me.”

I stammered, I choked, I mumbled.

“What do you want, little one? Tell me or I’m leaving you here, bound just like you are, to think about it.”

Now, as terrified as I was to voice my desire to be broken, I was even more terrified at the prospect of having Daddy leave me there, of having disappointed him by not being a strong submissive and a good little girl. We both knew what I needed, now I just needed to tell him. And tell him I did, in a teary-eyed yet firm voice, “I need you to break me, Daddy. Please break your little girl.”

“Good girl.” And the breaking commenced…

More than the breaking itself, Daddy understood (long before I ever did) that he could have broken me however and whenever he wished. But, if he wanted to access the painslut and the true submissive inside his baby girl, then he was going to make her voice her need for pain – beg to be broken – like a good, obedient little girl.

Come home soon, Daddy, I have something I’d like to ask you for…


  1. baby girl--glad I could inspire such a memory! It is nice from the Dom's perspective to force his woman to adopt the behaviors. Thus, in the last few days I have had my lizard pull out all the instruments of her own torture.

  2. There is nothing like hearing you sub/slave ask or beg for her treatment. Even if she knows what is coming and wants what is coming, it's a different vibe when she actually has to voice what she wants/needs.

    similar to what Neo said, it's amnetal and emotional thing to have your sub retrieve the tools of use. I have used that before myself. Rather than getting the crop to give swats, even though she wanted it, it has a different feel to it to have her get it and bring it to you.

    Good for Daddy and his methods. He knows what you need, not to mention desire.


  3. Thanks for sharing when you first begged him to break you. It must have been a very emotional moment for you when you came to grips with the fact that you are a pain slut and needed -- craved -- him to break you.

    And hope he will be home soon so you can once again serve him.


  4. Wow... that would have been hard, but an incredible experience at the same time. I hope he's home with you soon.



  5. I love reading your posts!! As much as you miss Daddy it's comforting to know I'm not the only one missing my Master. (I move in with him soon, but oh the waiting in the mean time....it feels like it might kill me!) Thanks for sharing this memory with us!


  6. Dear Dom Tom and DV,

    Although Daddy has never had me get the instruments myself (besides preparing the restraints), you're right that the feel of the whole thing is different when she asks for it. You already know what she needs...now you want her to say it and fully comprehend what she's asking for. Soooo erotic... :)

    Hi FD!

    Yes, it was an extremely emotional moment for me and one that helped to shape the wonderful relationship that Daddy and I have today. :) I can still remember how proud he was of me for being so strong and so submissive at the same time. We began to realize, at that point, how perfect we were for one another... :) It still makes me glow to think about it!

    Hello turiya!

    Thanks for the hugs and the well-wishes - he'll be back in about a day and a half and I can't wait!

    Hi ariaa!

    You were part of the inspiration for my newest post (36 Hours)! I really enjoy reading your blog and the comments that you leave - thanks! :)

    Take care all and thanks for writing,
    Baby Girl :)