11 October 2011

Calling All Dommes!

We have an absolutely lovely community of Dominants and submissives out there and I couldn’t be happier to call you my Blogosphere friends! ☺ And while I enjoy our exchange of advice, admiration, and repartee, I often wonder if I am unknowingly disenfranchising two segments of readers – submissive men and Dominant women.

Looking at my history of posts referring to the nature of D/s and the generalities of TTWD, I have always used Dom as opposed to Domme. Along these same lines, my Dom is always Him, He, or Sir, never Her, She, or Ma’am. I have noticed this trend in others’ blogs as well. From my own perspective, part of this has to do with the fact that my frame of reference in regards to D/s is strictly Dom/(female) sub. However, I think the overarching reason for this tendency is that Domme/(male) sub relationships are much less common in our community.

Is my inherent gender bias (within the context of D/s and BDSM) simply a reflection of the norms in our community or are there deeper, more chauvinist motives at play? Should I be concerned about my terminology usage?

Is my lack of inclusiveness a slight to the Dommes and male subs out there?

What is your experience with this socio-linguistic phenomenon? I’d love to hear from you!

3 comments:

  1. I try to be inclusive when I'm not being specifically about me. You wouldn't believe how long I thought, reworded, and generally head-scratched to get to the phrase "No sex on her period." Men don't have periods. Dommes would, generally. Female subs to Dommes would as well. Oh, the linguistic distress.

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  2. Hmmm, I don't see it as a problem that I view men as more dominant. I guess it's how I was raised, but my father was very dominant and now I'm married to Daddy and he's my Master in every sense of the word and I love his dominance over me, but I could never be submissive to another woman.

    It's not for me, but everyone is different so I can accept that other people like to have a woman be dominant over them.

    Hoping I don't offend anybody:)!
    Kitty

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  3. Well put, Conina..."linguistic distress"! I want to be inclusive, but it gets so darned unwieldy to write...argh.

    Kitty, I'm right there with you on the fact that it's not for me either - we're wired the way we're wired and, as the saying goes, a leopard doesn't change its spots! I suppose my main concern with this post was to address the fact that I don't often include Dommes or male subs when I make my generalities - is this problematic?

    I don't think I have a good answer to that question, but I think it's good food for thought! :) Thanks for commenting... :)

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