A Secret and Some What Ifs...

With the cloak of anonymity firmly secured around my shoulders (thanks, blogosphere!), I'm feeling bold enough to share a little secret that I've only ever shared with Daddy. 

I'm currently working on writing a novel. 

A salacious, smutty, deliciously dirty novel about a D/s couple, to be exact. 

While I've written hundreds (perhaps thousands) of essays, reports and the like in the tenure of my academic and professional careers, this novel is a departure for me. And although I consider myself a confident, accomplished, intelligent writer, the thought of sharing my novel with the world scares the living shit out of me.

The inevitable "what ifs" have started creeping in... What if nobody likes it? What if it's terrible? What if this years-long project turns out to be a gigantic waste of time and effort? What if I fail? (Funny how the "what ifs" rarely include scenarios of tremendous success and praise, isn't it?)

I guess the long and the short of what I'm trying to communicate here is that I'm afraid of failure - always have been and always will be. I want to be great at everything I set my mind to - my submission, my marriage, my career...and my novel. Logically, I know that I have to work through my fears, push my own limits and be afraid to fail. After all, I'd love to have people read my book and to then be responsible for the inevitable subsequent global shut-down due to an epidemic of raging hard-ons and throbbing clits. 

But alas, in order for that to happen, I would have to have the stones to publish the damn thing, wouldn't I? Curses...

I'm not really looking for encouragement and I'll be sure to reach out for advice regarding publishing at some point (if/when I get to that point), but right now, I suppose I just wanted to give you all a quick glimpse inside my head to see how frustrating those damned what ifs can be. 

Daddy's Cock: A Brief Dissertation

Coming back to the blog after being on hiatus, I've been poring over past posts, musing about how far Daddy and I have come (and how much we've...well, you get the point) over the past 5+ years together.

In my review of our blog, I came to a startling realization - I've never dedicated a post to the beauty that is Daddy's cock! *gasp* Frankly, I'm appalled by my omission and will be remedying this oversight posthaste!

It would be easy to start off by saying that Daddy's cock is the perfect subject for a lengthy discussion. (insert childish, albeit warranted giggling here) Now, while I have no intention of whipping out the proverbial ruler and providing you all with an exact measurement of his gorgeous member, rest assured that it's BIG.

Big enough to hurt me each time he pushes into my pussy, making me beg him to hurt me. Big enough to pound against my cervix with each thrust. Big enough to leave me with the feeling, hours later, that he's been inside me. Big enough to choke me when he hits the back of my throat. And big enough to be simultaneously terrified and turned on as hell at the thought of him taking my ass.

The length, girth and shape of Daddy's cock seem molded to perfection by a supreme being...a supreme being whose main objective was, of course, to create the perfect dick for my pussy. But, if I'm being completely honest, there's another aspect of his member that I find even sexier.

His smell.

Once Daddy's been out of the shower for at least an hour (long enough for the scent of his soap to fade away), his cock has the most delectable scent of everything Daddy. He smells of masculinity, strength and comfort, with a spiciness that I can't resist. Thankfully, I usually don't have to. Daddy lets me nuzzle, suck and nibble on his cock to my heart's content.

Although I've always been a big fan of the penis in general, I think it's fair to say that with his wonderfully perfect member, Daddy has turned me into his little cock craver.

Ebb and Flow

I've been doing some lurking lately, attempting to reestablish contact with some old blogosphere friends, only to find that many have vanished. It's sad to have lost touch with these virtual brothers- and sisters-in-arms, kindred spirits and like-minded souls - I hope they're all doing wonderfully and pursuing TTWD with gusto!

Although I'm disappointed to have let these relationships lapse, should I really expect anything different, considering my own vanishing act?

Lately, Daddy and I have been discussing the ebbs and flows of blog writing and the inherently incandescent nature of most sex blogs. They burn hot, yet they flame out quickly.

It's tough to keep your audience engaged. It's damn near impossible to keep the demands of "real life" from intruding into your private sphere. It's frustrating to find yourself writing out of obligation rather than inspiration. And it's maddening to discover that you've used up every last euphemism in the book for penis!*

Regardless of the reasons that we create, abandon, revisit, rethink, abandon (again) and rejoin our blogs, it's wonderful to know that there will always be folks out there to share their journeys and those who happily follow right along with us. Of course, I give my sincerest praise to those of you who manage to keep the thread going, even in the face of myriad challenges.

May you continue to burn hot for a long time to come.

* Note to self, check previous posts to see if "tallywacker" appears...

Craving Anal...

I'm going to keep this short, sweet and to the point. I am craving anal with Daddy...need to feel him take my ass and own me with his cock.

Due to some unforeseen circumstances (and Daddy's huge cock), we haven't been able to explore like we've wanted to. But I'm hopeful that that will change soon.

Very soon.

What Is Going On Here?

This is a picture from a Wired story on John McAfee, wealthy entrepreneur who chucked his life in the US and moved to Belize some years ago. He has been on the lam and just recently returned to the US to avoid extradition back to Belize. Anyway, this is the 67-year-old McAfee with his current girlfriend, the 20-year-old Belizean Samantha Vanegas:

Take a close look at that image. (If clicking on it doesn't work, you can see a very large version here.) Now, I know pictures often capture moments in time that aren't necessarily representative of a scene as a whole, but still, I'm curious: what is she doing in this picture?

As a Dom, my default assumption is that in this situation, the man would be the Dom and the girl the sub. But I have no evidence for that other than their respective ages, and her poor background contrasted with his wealth. And even if they are in a Dom/sub relationship, what is she doing? Is she letting him know she wants to suck his cock? Is she begging him to kiss her deeply? Some other sexual signal? Or am I on the wrong track here?

Spooning Barbecue

Nearly every night, baby girl and I fall asleep spooned together, on our left sides, me behind her, her head resting on my left arm, and me holding her by one or both wrists. Whether we've just had sex or haven't had it in days, we both find that this helps remind us of our respective roles... and it just feels right.

During the night, we nearly always shift positions in our sleep such that we're no longer intertwined like that and I'm no longer holding baby girl's wrist or wrists. When I wake up -- which is always before baby girl -- I'll often pull her to me and resume our sleeping position while we still have time before the alarm goes off.

If I'm feeling like taking baby girl that morning, sometimes I'll reach around with my right hand and put a finger in her mouth for her to suck on. Baby girl is very oral and loves having fingers (and other things) in her mouth, and I love the feeling of her sucking on me like that -- if I'm not already hard, it will make me so in moments.

A few weeks ago, we were having a morning just as I've described above. We were spooned together; I was holding baby girl's left wrist in my left hand, and I had my right thumb in her mouth. She had fallen back asleep in that position and it was quite satisfying for me as I enjoyed the moment, thinking about things that would push me over the edge and decide to wake her up by rolling her onto her back and fucking her.

Baby girl had been asleep a few minutes when she bit down on my thumb, fairly hard, between the first and second knuckle. I made a growling sort of "ouch" noise and told her no and to be gentle. She woke up and stopped biting me.

Later on, when she was fully awake, baby girl explained what had happened:

"I was having a dream and suddenly there was barbecue in it. I thought, 'Yum!' and chomped down on it."

This has led to an inside joke of ours, just four words:

"Barbecue? Yum! Chomp! Ouch!"

Of course, we can't share this joke with anyone else, because for it to make sense, you'd have to understand that we sleep with a finger or thumb in baby girl's mouth, and, and... we just don't want to go there. It's nice to be able to tell the joke here.

Quick Update

Hello all!

I wanted to send you all a quick update to let you know that no, we haven't fallen off the face of the Earth, and yes, we've both had demanding travel schedules lately and won't be able to get back into our groove (both with writing and with the ole bow-chicka-bow-wow) for about another week!

While I miss the writing, I think I miss reading and commenting on my friends' blogs even more... I promise I'll be back soon, and with some nice n' pervy tales to tell and some encouraging comments for our special Blogosphere community! :)

See you soon!